This week I have been reminded continually through different people and different moments that the future is a scary thing. I am a planner – I want to know what’s coming – I want to anticipate it – I want to be ready. Unfortunately, the majority of the time the future doesn’t really work that way. When we look forward we can often see a blurry picture of what’s to come, but in no way can we fully see it. I am slowly, and painfully at times, learning the beauty in that. See, God designed it this way for a reason. He knows my limitations even better than I do – He created me. And He knows that in most cases I couldn’t, nor should I be able to, handle seeing the whole picture.
This year I am working my way through Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. It offers short daily devotions that are the perfect way to jump start the morning. Yesterday’s reading really made sense to me and I have been pondering it and meditating on it since then. She was discussing Deuteronomy 29:29 and she writes
Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things. When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping at things that are Mine.
Seriously – I have never thought about the future in this context. She goes on to talk about our worry being an act of rebellion as we are refusing to trust God with these parts of our life. I know that I would never intentionally do that, but it’s exactly what I do when I spend my days worrying about the future instead of laying it down in His hands.
I think this that one of the reasons that this is hitting so close to home for me right now is that I am surrounded in uncertainty. Pregnancy is full of unknowns. When will the baby arrive? How will the baby arrive? Was that a contraction? Is everything okay? Is it normal to feel this way? … the list truly goes on and on. I try to make preparations at work and at home, but you can only do so much because you really don’t know when this child will choose to join the outside world. It’s daunting and unsettling and frustrating sometimes – and I find myself praying “God – just show me…just tell me…are you sure you’ve got this? Are you sure everything is going to be okay??” And it’s in those moments that doubt creeps in and my fears about the future and the unknowns have to be controlled – because He does know, and He does have it all worked out. This is His thing – His secret thing – and it will be revealed at the perfect time.
Now, don’t get me wrong – this isn’t a free pass to not plan for the future. I believe that we should be doing everything we can to make sure that we are financially, physically, and emotionally in a good place as we look forward. What I am talking about tonight is the fear of the future. The paralyzing feeling that keeps you from enjoying the beauty that surrounds you today because you are so fixated on what might happen tomorrow. Let it go – it’s not yours to worry about.
So, today, I choose to rest knowing that my precious son is sleeping in his bed, my little girl is growing and moving on the inside, and my incredible husband is sitting beside me. I choose to lay down knowing that God willing we will be waking up tomorrow and facing another day and we will know exactly what we need to know at the appointed time.
How do you deal with the unknowns of the future? Have you thought about the future as a secret thing that belongs to God?