Balancing Act: Life After Baby

I have gone to school for the past 20 years of my life.  Elementary school, high school, college, graduate school – some days it truly does seem never ending.  I am an expert at learning.  I never expected that becoming a parent would lead to some of my greatest lessons, or that a precious blue-eyed baby would be one of my finest teachers.

 The learning curve in becoming a parent is pretty huge.  Essentially, one day you don’t have a child and the next you do.  There are a lot of things during pregnancy that helped prepare me for parenthood, but nothing can truly prepare you for that first night.  The onslaught of emotions is truly overwhelming – joy, fear, love, anxiety – the list goes on and on.  You don’t really have time to dig out your What to Expect book and “study” before the test – the baby is screaming and you need to do something…now.  During the first few months of Evan’s life I felt like I had very little concept of time.  Life just kind of happened around us – I was loving and enjoying almost every minute – but the days came, the nights went, and suddenly, four months had passed us by.

One of the favorite things that life with Evan has been teaching me, is the importance of balance.  Babies are not born with balance.  It is something that they learn and that they are able to do better and better as their muscles develop and their bodies grow.  In the beginning, their limbs flail with seemingly very little control or guidance.  Soon, they begin to gain greater control over their arms and legs and the movements become more focused.  Next, Evan started using this newfound control and strength to roll over.  After lots of practice, he became a “supported sitter.”  Basically – he was able to hold his head up and keep decent control over his trunk and would “sit” when he was supported by a Boppy pillow or in a Bumbo chair.

 This period of time was very painful for Alex and me, but unfortunately it was even more painful at times for Evan.  In his efforts to sit on his own, he would occasionally tumble to the right or the left – unable to find that center and keep his body focused there.   He would start to fall one direction, over correct, and end up slipping the other way.

One day, I was sitting behind him to make sure that he didn’t fall and I realized, in that moment, how much my life paralleled his.  I was trying to figure out exactly what life looked like as a new parent – settling in to my “new normal.”  I was back at work, taking classes toward my graduate degree, trying to keep the house decent, and above all else, making the most of the time that I had each morning and evening with my precious family.  I realized that my skills at “balancing” weren’t much more developed that Evan’s.  For example, I would spend a weekend trying to maximize family time and work on the house and the laundry, and fall behind on my assignments for school.  Then I would go back to work on Monday and spend part of my work hours trying to finish up what I was behind on.  Well, then of course work would fall behind, so I would over correct and spend more hours there catching up, neglecting the time that I should be spending at home with my family…I desperately needed balance in my life!  I wanted to find my center and focus there.  If I could keep everything in balance (work, school, housework), keep family and my faith remaining at the center of it all – I knew that I would feel so much better about my day to day life.

By no means have I arrived.  I am continually reminding myself of my need for balance – and I have weekends where I slip up and obsess over one or two things allowing everything else to fall aside.  But overall, I feel much better about how everything fits together.

 And just for the record, Evan has mastered the sitting thing.  His balance is practically perfect when he’s sitting down and crawling around on the floor.  Now, of course, he has moved on to standing.  It’s like starting back at square one with the balance thing – but I know he will figure it out.  I’m counting on it – I need him to keep teaching me!!

If you are a parent, share a lesson that you have learned from watching your children change and grow!  We love hearing from you!

 

elizabeth.

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