When the Secret Things are the Scary Things

This week I have been reminded continually through different people and different moments that the future is a scary thing.  I am a planner – I want to know what’s coming – I want to anticipate it – I want to be ready.  Unfortunately, the majority of the time the future doesn’t really work that way.  When we look forward we can often see a blurry picture of what’s to come, but in no way can we fully see it.  I am slowly, and painfully at times, learning the beauty in that.  See, God designed it this way for a reason.  He knows my limitations even better than I do – He created me.  And He knows that in most cases I couldn’t, nor should I be able to, handle seeing the whole picture.

This year I am working my way through Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  It offers short daily devotions that are the perfect way to jump start the morning.  Yesterday’s reading really made sense to me and I have been pondering it and meditating on it since then.  She was discussing Deuteronomy 29:29 and she writes

Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things. When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping at things that are Mine.

Mind. Blown.

Seriously – I have never thought about the future in this context.  She goes on to talk about our worry being an act of rebellion as we are refusing to trust God with these parts of our life.  I know that I would never intentionally do that, but it’s exactly what I do when I spend my days worrying about the future instead of laying it down in His hands.

I think this that one of the reasons that this is hitting so close to home for me right now is that I am surrounded in uncertainty.  Pregnancy is full of unknowns.  When will the baby arrive? How will the baby arrive? Was that a contraction? Is everything okay? Is it normal to feel this way? … the list truly goes on and on.  I try to make preparations at work and at home, but you can only do so much because you really don’t know when this child will choose to join the outside world. It’s daunting and unsettling and frustrating sometimes – and I find myself praying “God – just show me…just tell me…are you sure you’ve got this? Are you sure everything is going to be okay??”  And it’s in those moments that doubt creeps in and my fears about the future and the unknowns have to be controlled – because He does know, and He does have it all worked out.  This is His thing – His secret thing – and it will be revealed at the perfect time.

Now, don’t get me wrong – this isn’t a free pass to not plan for the future.  I believe that we should be doing everything we can to make sure that we are financially, physically, and emotionally in a good place as we look forward.  What I am talking about tonight is the fear of the future.  The paralyzing feeling that keeps you from enjoying the beauty that surrounds you today because you are so fixated on what might happen tomorrow.  Let it go – it’s not yours to worry about.

So, today, I choose to rest knowing that my precious son is sleeping in his bed, my little girl is growing and moving on the inside, and my incredible husband is sitting beside me.  I choose to lay down knowing that God willing we will be waking up tomorrow and facing another day and we will know exactly what we need to know at the appointed time.

How do you deal with the unknowns of the future?  Have you thought about the future as a secret thing that belongs to God?

Welcome Back!!

After almost a year of not blogging and trying to figure out how to just “do life” we are officially re-launching Our Life.  I am so excited!

For the past six weeks or so I have been itching to write again and looking for an outlet.  When Alex and I started this blog, it was to document our pregnancy and birth experiences and truly share our life with our sweet friends and family.  As the blog began to grow I got a little hung up on making sure that everything I shared was “monumental” and forgot to share the fun and quirky details that truly make up our day to day life.  What I have discovered – I still want to share how Evan is growing and all the funny things he is doing.  I still want to share some of our favorite products and recipes.  I still want to share about the encouraging moments and the difficult days.  Just as each day of our lives are filled with these things, so is this blog. You may never know what to expect, but you can know that it will be real, it will be genuine, and it will be “us.”

So, here we are – back again – and ready to share Our Life with you.  But that’s not all – because our life is changing – QUICKLY!!

Yep – that’s right.  Our sweet baby girl is scheduled to make her appearance in about 8 weeks!!  We are so excited!  My plan is to take some time to go back and share parts of this pregnancy journey here over the next 8 weeks.  I have missed recording the milestones of this pregnancy and I want to make sure they are all here to remember as our family grows.

Evan is growing and growing…and then growing some more.  He is still a little guy – not too high on the growth charts, but trust me – he is growing too fast!!  He is changing so much every day – it’s unbelievable.  He is running, climbing, and talking non stop.  He is so silly and playful.  He love love loves Toy Story and Finding Nemo.  We have a collection of Toy Story characters that make their way back and forth between his room and the living room each day between morning and bedtime.  He just likes to have them wherever he is.  He has recently transitioned to a toddler bed so that the crib can be used for little sister.  He loves his bed.  Between the freedom that it gives him and the novelty of it, he just can’t get enough of it.  Everyone that comes over has to go and see “MY BED!”

So, welcome back to Our Life. It is quickly changing, incredibly fun, and usually messy – but it’s ours – and we are excited to share it with you.

Whoa! How did that happen?!

I have a problem. Somehow the universe has conspired to slip HALF A YEAR past me without my knowledge. Somehow I woke up last week to the beginning of JULY. This month not only splits the year down the middle, but also means half of the summer has past us by. How did this happen?!

It bothered me a little when I realized how quickly the year has past. There are still so many things that I want to do this year. Let’s revisit our summer to-do list.

1. Beach trip!!
2. Attend a baseball game
3. Visit the zoo
4. Go white water rafting
5. Visit an amusement park
6. Go swimming
7. Hike in the mountains
8. Go to an outdoor concert
9. Picnic and play at the park
10. Visit the aquarium

5 down, 5 to go!!  I have some catch up to do to update you on all of the things we have already checked off our list.  But in the meantime, here are a few summer photos of sweet Evan.